oate:

*shows up at ur door 10 years after we had an argument* aND ANOTHER THING


a discussion on sexual orientation
  • me:*explaining various sexual orientations to a classmate*
  • classmate:wait, what's polyamory?
  • me:well, it's when someone has more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
  • professor:*overhears from front of class*
  • professor:that is d i s g u s t i n g
  • me:*defensively* um, actually, no it's--
  • professor:how DARE they put a greek prefix on a latin root like that?! What right do they have to decimate my beautiful antiquated languages?!?! GREEK AND LATIN DO NOT FRATERNIZE THIS IS LIKE THAT STUPID ROMANTIC SUBPLOT BETWEEN THAT DWARF AND THAT ELF IN THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!
  • me:....
  • me:....
  • me:....
  • professor:it should be polyerosy
Reblog with 91,302 notes

blackfemalepresident:

you deserve to be in a relationship with a person who doesnt make you compete for their affection and never has you guessing where you stand with them


celestia:

once i had a dream that my cat was working at mcdonalds w/ me and she had a lil uniform and she kept getting fur in the fries and everyone was yelling at me and saying “ur cat sucks on fries” and i was like “shes just a cat give her a break!” and i woke up crying


Real talk

kissnecks:

boredandmoist:

This time last year I was unemployed, broke, and suicidal.

Today, I just got the keys to my first house.

Give it time.

every time I see this, I reblog it.

disowns:

i fucking hate how i get attached so easily like i don’t understand. i meet someone new, find interest and BAM it’s like i can’t stop thinking about it. this needs to fucking stop


College kids literally don’t care about walking in the way of cars at school because we’re like “hit me i don’t care pay my tuition.”

"Hit me my thesis is due in 12 hours and I haven’t started it"

"Hit me I have a final in an hour and I didn’t study"

"Hit me I’ve been on a 24 hour drinking binge and I’m invincible"

"Hit me. You’re a university vehicle and I’ll get free tuition."

"Hit me I feel like a failure anyway"

(via infelicific)

trust:

thick thighs because chicken fries


How come every other organ in your body can get sick and you get sympathy, except your brain?

Ruby Wax 

Reblogging the SHIT out of this.

(via livelifebyliving)

  • Nicki:fuck them skinny bitches
  • Me:YAS! I ain't shit!
Reblog with 34,422 notes

fruitpacks:

meeting peoples moms for the first time is so intimidating because i cant tell if theyre a strict mom or a laid back mom and as i ride in their car i have to slowly figure out what breed of mom they are


corporateaccount:

date a girl who is your girlfriend


europeofficial:

racist white boys who think they’re funny are hella annoying


if you consider a woman
less pure after you’ve touched her
maybe you should take a look at your hands

(via solacity)

I will never not reblog this

(via nuedvixx)